Since officially starting my maternity leave (yesterday) I have felt a huge amount of relief, and focus. While the end of the performance season was wonderful and tiring. Going to work everyday through the end of this pregnancy was the best choice for me. I have felt powerful and content knowing that I can accomplish my job, while growing a small human. When it comes to teaching students (specifically my senior girls) it became important for me to be an example of what a woman can do, in life and the workplace. It doesn't' have to be a choice...
When I was pregnant with my son (7 years ago) I was discouraged with my profession. I didn't just become a stay at home mom when Max was born, I decided to walk away from my dreams of working professionally in theater. I had just begun working with Broadway designers, learning new tasks and taking on new responsibilities, and taking work very seriously. Work was my priority, always placed ahead of my relationships. I did not know how to set boundaries. This caused issues in my life, that I still regret.
However, this time around I feel like I have finally found a balance, between work and home. The most important part of my life is my family, and realizing this has been a life changing lesson. Teaching my son responsibility, the love of learning, and to be kind has brought out the teacher in me. My son has given me the opportunity to realize the world needs me, just maybe not in the way I originally thought.
I love being a mother, now I just happen to be more of a mom than I ever could have imagined. Many of my students call me mom, I feed them, help them, and give them a safe space to come to when needed. I try to teach them responsibility, the love of learning, and to be kind.... Maybe even that they can do these things through ART!
Being a working mom, while carrying a little girl is even more fulfilling. Knowing that this little girl I will meet tomorrow, will have a strong woman to watch as she grows up, is even more powerful of a feeling. I watched my mother and father work everyday while I was growing up. From them I learned responsibility and to keep going, no matter what. I thank them everyday for the lessons they taught me.
So, here's to tomorrow... The day is almost here... the future is female... my journal told me so!